TOWARDS MORE HIGHS

No, she hasn't stumbled on him yet. That ground bash at the Holiday Inn wasn't to announce a secret engagement or an impending shaadi. It was just an excuse to meet with friends, old and new, and celebrate a triumphant. Because despite the very determined attempt of critics to write her off, Madhuri's still living out new dreams, living new lives. That's what keeps her hooked. This chance of playing so many different people. And each of the, she smiles shyly, has bits and pieces of the real Madhuri. The mood is upbeat. Okay, may be she missed out on the National Award again but there's always another day, another movie. She has five at the moment, Wajood, Pukar, Aarzoo, Hum Aapke Hain Sanam and a Tamil-Telgu-Hindi trilingual with Arvind Swamy, Engineer. And who knows any one of them can win her another Screen, Filmfare, Zee may be even the National Award. Meanwhile all the bouquets, letters, statuettes and the swirls of paint which surround her and reinforce MF Hussain's undying adulation, are there to remind her that she's still one of the chosen ones and she can determinedly work towards new highs.

INTERVIEW
The first six months of this year have had some incredible highs. So where do you go from here?
Towards more highs. We artistes are greedy people. We refuse to stop at one bus stop. We'll clamber onto another bus and dash forward. There're so many more miles to cover. May be I've won one race, broken one record but I have to keep running. I want to...

Even when you're charging down the same well-trod, well-beaten path?
I understand what you mean. Not too many roles are being written with a woman in mind. But times are changing. I saw the change coming two years ago. Last year I had two releases, Mrityudand and a Dil To Pagal Hai, and they weren't your usual formula films. I know today directions won't want me just to be there, for a song-n-dance. They can trust me with something more creatively challenging. There have been quite a few offers. But I'm taking my time. Watching and waiting for roles with more character. Not "character roles" but roles with some character.

Like?
Like Pooja of Dil To Pagal Hai.

I'd have thought you'd have pinpointed Ketki of Mrityudand. Now she was a woman of substance. Pooja I thought was very fluff and formula.
Believe me, playing Pooja was more difficult than playing Ketki. Ketki was real. She was well etched out. She had a background. She had convictions. Pooja was more vague. She was a dreamer. She had to be developed. But I wouldn't say she was all fluff and formula. She wasn't your usual "Papa..." kind of heroine and nor was she weepy and melodramatic. She was a girl with a mind of her own. She knew she loved this boy who'd suddenly danced into her life. It was her background which made her hesitant to reciprocate. She was an orphan who'd been given a home by a lovely, homely lady who now wanted her to marry her son and became a real daughter to her. Could she disappoint her after al the love she'd so unselfishly showered on her? Could she break the heart of a man who'd been a friend for so long? Had she been your usual stereotyped heroine she'd have said , "I love this guy and I'm going to marry him, the world be damned." Pooja may have chased after dreams but she was very much in touch with reality and that made her shy, subdued, subtle even in her pranks.

You really seem to empathise with Pooja. Are you anything like her?
(Laughs) There's this romantic side to me too. I guess, all girls believe in dreams like Pooja, chase after them. I know I'm convinced someone, somewhere is out there waiting for me. I can wait endlessly for him. What if he doesn't come? That's risk I'm prepared to take.

And what if he turns up after you've made a commitment to someone else?
(Smiles) Well, then, I'll first consider how far I've gone. If I'm already married it's a different situation altogether. But if we're just engaged, I'll give our relationship another thought. Even if I decided to stay true to my fiance I'd be cheating him if my heart was with my dream lover, right?

Okay, after letting your dream lover woo you away how would you feel if you suddenly found yourself in a nightmarish Mrityudand kind of marriage?
(Laughing uproariously) Then I'll be up in arms too. I refuse to take nonsense from anyone and that includes my husband. There's a thinking, fighting side to me too that balances our the dreamy romantic. But I'm not a feminist and I'm definitely not a man-hater on the war path. I believe that a man and woman have been made to co-exist and rather than try and subdue the other, they should cooperate with each other to make life easier, happier. I find that women today are posed on the threshhold of a new beginning. There may still not be enough awareness and they may still be pulled back by social taboos and their inbred values, but despite everything Indian women have come a long way. Now it's for the men to take one step forward.

And will they?
Well, I've seen guys who don't think it's below their dignity to help their wives in the kitchen. But they're one of a kind, restricted to a certain class (Sighs). By and large, most of them are still very orthodox. They'll still stop their wives from seeing Mrityudand. Yes, Om Puri and Shabanaji told me that there were a lot of men in UP who wouldn't let their wives see the film. I know a lot of men didn't like the film. But the women sure did. I got a lot of letters telling me that they'd been inspired by the stand I took, my fighting spirit. If I could make even 10 of them think about the system, regardless of whether the thoughts were positive or negative, I'd say I've achieved something.

Did you have any inkling before you did the film that women in the remote interiors were still being humiliated and traumatised?
I may not have heard of Bilaspur before but I had heard about instances of domestic violence from the household help. When I was in college I've travelled in buses, trains and rickshaws and I had a fair idea about what went on. I know of how husbands would stagger home sozzled, night after night, and hammer their wives. And such things don't just happen in a slums but in every class of society. Only the degrees of harassment are different.

The film industry thrives on the inequality of the sexes, doesn't it?
Yeah, well, the heroes are better paid and that rankles. But I guess, this is only a reflection of the inequality prevalent in our society. The film industry is only a small mircocosm of the larger whole.

In a male dominated film industry how does it fell to be referred to as the female Amitabh Bachchan?
I take it as a compliment. It's flattering, no doubt, but I think every top actress during her reign has inspired the same kind of regard. After films like Raja and Hum Aapke Hain Koun...! I guess, I've risen in people's estimation (Smiles).

You certainly have but even you couldn't turn the very glamorous Hindi film heroine into a credible professional. You do say in Hum Aapke Hain koun.... that you're into computers but not once in a 19 reels do we ever find you even seated in front of the computer.
That was because there was no need for me to be seated in front of the computer. The film was about marriages, birth and death. It was a film about a family, not professionals. Hey, you don't even see Salman working! But in Wajood you'll see me really hard at work. I play a journalist in the film.

The khadi-kolhapuri chappal kind or the kind who chain smokes and chases after scandals and scoops?
She's very ambitious and will do anything for a story. I've watched many journalists down the decades. I think I know now how their minds work. I can actually see that look in their eyes before they pose that question they're just dying to ask. I've tried to make my journalist a very believable kind of girl.

Will she sing songs?
This is a Hindi film so she will have to. But she's not going to suddenly forget herself and slip into some out-of-this-world kind of costume. She's a working girl. A television talk show hostess who's glamorous in front of the camera but when out on the streets she's a very down-to-earth girl-next-door, at least in the clothes she wears.

Have you ever wanted to be a journalist? You get to meet so may interesting people.
And as an actress I get to play so many interesting people.

Are any of them like the real Madhuri Dixit?
Oh, there are bits and pieces of Madhuri in every role I've played.

So how would you describe Madhuri who's played muse to so many scriptwriters?
Ummmm...A nice girl. A mass of contradictions. I may not be Sybil but I definitely think there are at least two Madhuris around. Away from the studios, I'am a shy, quiet, very private person. I don't wear make-up, I hate to dress up. But once I'm in front of the camera an instant metamorphosis transforms me into a very glamorous star with absolutely no inhibitions. But I never carry my work home. I'm fortunate to have what I call "short term amnesia". I can shrug off my public persona in a jiffy. I never really expected to be a star, you know. Even today I'm a person first and then a star.

But I'd say you were one of the last stars. You still make an effort to dress up for a public function and have retained that aura of elusiveness that sets a star apart.
I think it's really very difficult to retain that aura of elusiveness as you call it, because so much is being written about your yesterdays, todays and tomorrows. There's so much of information being disseminated about what you eat, drink, think, feel and even what you like to sleep in. So ther's no mystrey, no magic left. If there's anything left at all, it's from that little echo in you from the yesteryears stars you idolised.

Who was you first matinee idol?
Gregory Peck. I saw Roman Holiday and fell in Love. I didn't see too many movies till I joined the industry. But once I started, I was exposed to the mystique and the miracles of Nutanji, Nargisji, Madhubala, Meena Kumari, Waheeda Rehman and yes, Rekha.

Each one of these lovely ladies have at least one film they're immediately associated with. Nargis has he Mother India, Madhubala her Mughal-e-Azam and Waheeda Rehman her Guide. What's yours?
My best is yet to come.

Ah, so why don't you change tracks and do a Bandini may be?
Get me a Bimal Roy and I will.

Sorry he's not around any longer but you could branch into regional cinema and try a Rituparno Ghosh or a Shravani Deodhar. May be even experiment with parallel cinema and a Govind Nihalani. He approached you once, long ago, didn't he?
Yeah, just after Party. He was planning something, may be Aakrosh but things didn't work out. I'd love to work with any one of these makers you've named, but there has to be an offer. I'm even open to a good Marathi film . It's my mother tongue, you know. I have taken my first step into regional cinema with a Tamil film; Engineer. It'll be dubbed in Telugu and Hindi too. It's an interesting subject. The girl's very real, very alive. Kind of close to Ketki of Mrityudand. Actually, not really. Let's not talk too much of the film. I wouldn't want to divulge too many details. All I can say is that it brings out the very feminine side of me. This character is very womanly and at the same time a very strong woman. A lethal combination, wouldn't you say?

Very. Will it win you the National Award next year?
I appreciate awards, it's nice to win one, even be nominated for one because at least, you're alomg the top five actresses of the year. But I don't aspire for awards. I only aspire for good roles, good films. If I can get that and do my job well, awards will follow. I certainly don't accept and enact a role with my mind on the National Award. Hey, if I was thinking about this coveted honour which continues to elude me, I wouldn't be able to work.

After doing an intense film like Mrityudand or Engineer is it easy chasing after dreams in films like Dil To Pagal Hal?
Oh I love to escape into the world of dreams, a park of conifers I can run around. It's like a vacation and everybody enjoys them. They're a break from reality. They keep you sane.

Was that why you accepted KC Bokadia's film well knowing that in Bokadia's films the script is never important.
It will be this time because Hum Alpke hain Sanam is a remake with the original director so I know exactly what is happening, what will happen...

What's happening with Pukar? No one has a clue.
(Smiles) Rajkumar Santoshi wants to keep things under wraps. He's brilliant, you know. A complete director. There's nothing vague about his films. Each character is strong, well-defined and he inspires his artistes to give their best. I'd love to be in all his films. At the moment though I'm giving Pukar my best shot. It is an interesting film with an impressive canvas.

And what if second lead Namrata Shirodkar ends up walking away with the National Award for her performance like Karisma Kapoor in Dil To Pagal Hai?
I'll be very happy for her. I am for Karisma The award proves that doing the film was the right decision.

Now for some details on MF Hussain's Gaja Gamini.
It's a very experimental film made for the international market. An ordinary woman's journey through history, mythology and literature seen through the eyes of a painter. I get to play so many extraordinary women of our country. It's fascinating.

Personally, who are the women down the ages who've played muse to you?
(After a thoughtful pause) There was Indira Gandhi who represented women power, Shakti, be it positive or negative. At the other extreme was Mother Teresa. And it wasn't just one Mother but a whole organisation of women, the Missionaries of Charity, who have selflessly sacrificed every thing, their whole life to improve the lot of others. It's perhaps one of the most difficult missions you can undertake. Giving away everything to others. Even the thought is so humbling. And of course, there was the Rani of Jhansi, who physically fought for her rights, taking on the might of the British army with her child tied to her back. Incredible that we should still be talking about the emancipation of Indian women when we've had women such as these.

Tell me Madhuri, do you ever get angry?
Sure. When things don't happen on time, when people are not serious about their work. The chalta hai attitude can really make me mad.

Do you think things will get more disciplined now with the film industry being granted industry status?
We'll certainly need more planning, more scheduling and that calls for some amount of self-discipline. It'll take some time, may be 6-7 months, but eventually I'm sure we'll get more organised. We'll have to. This decision should prove very good for the industry. Some sensible people with the right finance should now come forward. Hopefully, we'll make better films now.

Do you see that glint in my eyes? Okay, here's the question I'm just dying to ask, the answer every one's just dying to hear. What was that grand bash at the Holiday Inn ready for?
It was just a party. I've been in the industry for 15 years and have never thrown one. I've made a lot of friends in these years. Some had drifted away, some new ones had come along. I thought it would be a good idea to get all these friends together for one evening. I know the bash generated a lot of excitement, a lot of curiosity but there was no engagement, no shaudi, no nothing.

Well it certianly made a lot of people happy and a fewunhappy.
(Frowning) Like who?

Manisha Koirala for one. She was disgruntied that she didn't get a personal invitation.
I'd been very busy, shutfling between Hyderabad and Mumbai. There were so many lists- to make, so many people to call. It wasn't possible for me.to call everyone of them personally. My secretary Rikkuji made some of the calls. The slight wasn't intentional. That party was only for friends.