Urmila Matondkar IN CONFESSIONAL MODE... Right now she’s off the press, and not only because she’s in and out of Mumbai, shooting in Bangalore and elsewhere for Ram Gopal Varma’s latest quickie, Jungle. But also because she says she has nothing to say. “All journalists have only one thing to ask me. How do I feel about my flops in 1999? Arre baba, what do I say to that? That it feels great? Thanks, but no thanks.” So try coaxing her into breaking her millennium resolution to stay mum! Eventually, she does break her self-imposed silence, though. Just once. In an outpouring that’s both revealing and engrossing. She speaks rapidly, and her words seem barely able to keep up with her thoughts...

The song goes Kabhi kissiko muqammal jahan nahin milta. Kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta. Do you feel that way about your films in 1999?
Please don’t say there’s hundred per cent truth in those words. I don’t buy that at all. I love that song, but I’d rather believe that zameen bhi aur aasman bhi milta hai.

You’re a major song buff, aren’t you?
I know at least five hundred Hindi film songs inside out. I know them with the situations, locations, artistes, directors, everything.

So you know more songs than me?
I’d never be foolish enough to make such a claim. Look how you lowered your tone to ask me that so I’d walk into the trap. No way! But I love Asha Bhonsle’s songs, though I don’t know her personally.

Do you believe a person needs to be a good human being to be a good artiste?
I’ve always believed that. And I also feel you can be a good artiste only if you evolve as a person. Otherwise you can never ever get to the essence of your personality. Growth without experience is like death. I feel, over the years I’ve grown as a person and an actress. Now I’ve learnt not just to look at one scene in isolation. I feel it’s the character that matters.

If Jodie Foster in The Accused sits in a corner even in a long shot of 22 frames, you can make out the entire history of her character. You can see in that one shot what she was doing ten years before and what she’ll be doing ten years hence. I want to achieve the same kind of density in my performances.

But in Hollywood they do one film in three years whereas you have to do three in one year!
I guess you’ve a point. There’s so much mediocrity in our cinema. Even if one is slightly better than average, one is praised to the skies. I don’t think journalists are interested in writing about us objectively.

What do you expect journalists to write when you do a ridiculous film like Khoobsurat?
But there were so many nuances I tried to work into the character. They’ve all gone for a toss. Like, I tried to smile in a haughty way throughout the movie. You know, the kind of smile that says, ‘Hah, what do others know?’ All that’s lost.

Never mind. Jungle marks a new beginning. How was the experience of working in the forests near Bangalore?
It was quite jungle-like actually (laughs uproariously). You can say I’ve become very junglee. But seriously, it was an interesting experience. I’d never shot in a place that’s completely cut off from humanity. I have shot in several out-of-the-way places like the Namibian deserts. But this was something else. When I went there for the first time, it was just to size up the scenario. But the second time I shot quite a bit — on this location, a six-and-half-hour drive from Bangalore.

Ramu says he intends to shoot at some animal sanctuaries abroad.
Oh good. I hope I’m there with the animals (laughs). I love to travel abroad. It’s one of the saving graces of my life.

When do you get to enjoy being in your new home in Mumbai?
Hardly ever. I really miss my family and friends when I’m shooting outside Mumbai. Even when I get back from my foreign shoots I don’t get a chance to catch up with them. There’s so much work pending, you see. That’s the tough part of my profession. But I’m not one to complain. I’d like to look at the brighter side and get on with life.
The brighter side being?
I truly love visiting new places, getting to know different people, eating a variety of food and enjoying the sights, smells and sounds of every place to the hilt.

With your fondness for food how do you manage to stay so slim?
I think I must be letting off extra calories by conversing (laughs). I eat a lot. But I also talk about food and how I don’t do anything to control my diet. It’s a fact that I really love to eat all sorts of food from all over the world.

Are you a non-vegetarian?
Completely. A lot of people won’t like my saying this. But I love non-vegetarian food. It’s politically incorrect to say you eat meat. But I enjoy all kinds of cuisine. Recently when I was shooting in New Zealand, I tried everything under the sun. Not stuff like crocodile meat which is supposed to be a delicacy. Yuck! It’s not the meat in the food. I just enjoy eating.

And inspite of this major hogging habit, you say you don’t work out?
Actually, I don’t. Where’s the time? Now please don’t ask me such boring questions.

How much importance do you give to physical beauty in a performance?
Coming from me, this may sound funny. But I’ve always believed that too much shouldn’t be made out of physical beauty. Looking good is very important. But only to the extent that you don’t neglect your health and physique. There’re strange forces at work in our lives. But I seriously feel that a focussed and positive person would never look out-of-shape or ungainly. I’ve rarely come across a person who is beautiful on the outside and isn’t so inside as well. Of course our definitions of beauty vary. What may be beautiful to you may not be so for me. But you have to agree that attitudes and values in life are revealed on an individual’s face. I’m not talking about being fat and thin, tall or short. I’m talking about the beauty that’s reflected in one’s eyes. Within five minutes it becomes clear if the person in front of you has ‘it’ or not. I don’t believe in looks per se. I believe it’s the overall personality that makes an individual beautiful.

And of course you didn’t have to work on your personality either?
(Laughs loudly). It’s God-given. Then of course there’re my parents, my friends, my environment. These have influenced my personality.
If we look at your earlier films and the later ones there’s a sea change in your looks, body-language and acting. Are you saying this transition just happened?

No, it isn’t like that. But I won’t say I’m fashion-conscious. I am a very ‘aware’ person. I’m a very curious and knowledge-hungry humanbeing.

You’re very conscious of what looks good on you and you would never wear something that doesn’t?
But is there anything that doesn’t look good on me? (Laughs) Seriously, I instinctively know what clothes work on me and what don’t.

Did this process of self awareness begin for you after Rangeela?
I don’t think any eventuality in life can occur in isolation. Everyting is due to a combination of several factors. I feel I am what I am and how I am because I’m a very focussed person.

How much of the credit for your transformation do you give to your director Ram Gopal Varma?
A lot. You know, like a lot of other things that I say about him people wouldn’t like to believe this either. But he never gets into the paraphernalia of movie-making, like the look, clothes etc. Of course, it is his vision that we’ve to project on screen. But it’s really sick of people to believe that presenting a heroine well means that the director looks after every aspect of her personality. Some people actually believe that Ram Gopal Varma shoots my closeups separately! That’s the giddy limit. Having said this, I must admit, I’ve no words to express my gratitude to him for showing so much faith in me by signing me in Rangeela. Knowing the kind of shrewd filmmaker he is, it is an honour to be selected by him. Once I am in, I have to constantly try to live up his and my own expectations. Till date I’m doing that.

How do you respond when people make uncharitable insinuations about why Ramu keeps repeating you in all his films?
Frankly I wouldn’t like to ponder over why he repeats me. I’d rather keep rising to the challenges he keeps offering me as a director.
In any case how is it a problem for anyone except the distributors?
And fortunately it hasn’t been a problem for them so far. Besides I don’t want to worry about such things. Instead I’d like to give my very best to every role. By the way, recently there was a rumour going around Mumbai that I had tied the knot with Ram Gopal Varma on December 12. How come you didn’t come for my mehndi, sangeet and bidaai? Seriously, I heard this rumour all over town when I came back from my first schedule of Jungle. Believe me, I was in splits. How many times are they going to get me married off? When I told this to Manish Malhotra (the dress designer), he turned around to say, ‘Oh, but I thought you were already married’. My friends keep saying they hope I don’t spring a Dr Nene on them. Trust me. I’ll announce my marriage from the rooftops when it happens.

How do you react to such rumours?
My immediate reaction is one of amusement. How can people be so nosy? Don’t they have anything better to do? Because Karisma Kapoor left some films people presumed she was getting married. The same rumour was extended to me. Thank God they didn’t say Mast was the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai of my life. That I was quitting and getting married after Mast (laughs).

Why is everyone so keen on getting you married off?
That you’ll have to ask them. They’ve already got me married off six times in four years. I’m supposed to have got married to Ram Gopal Varma, and he’s supposed to have gifted me a bungalow in Hyderabad. What nonsense!

In 1994, you had the opportunity to work with quite a few new directors like Nabh Kumar Raju, Andalib Sultanpuri, Sanjay Chhel and Sunny Deol? What was the experience like?
It was quite an experience. All these directors were brimming over with fresh ideas. But in some of these cases, there were times when some newcomer-insecurity crept in. Then they started to go off-course. Nabh Kumar Raju worked under tremendous pressures of time to make Hum Tum Pe Marte Hain.

Did you feel that there were shades of Sooraj Barjatya in Nabh Kumar’s work?
That’s bound to be there. Keeping in mind that he was Sooraj Barjatya’s assistant. No matter what others think, the influence of the mentor is bound to be present in the new director’s work. There’s nothing wrong with that. Even E Niwas has shades of Ramuji’s work in Shool. When Yashji’s assistant made independent films, they looked like Yashji’s films.

Other directors sometimes try to hide their influences. But Nabh Kumar Raju openly says he is influenced by Sooraj Barjatya. At the same time he wanted to do his own thing, too. All things considered, I don’t think Hum Tumpe Marte Hain was a bad beginning.

And what about Sanjay Chhel?
He’s basically a very good writer. That’s an added advantage while writing his script. I feel some portions of Khoobsurat could have been handled better. The script needed a lot of sensitivity, which Sanjay Chhel does possess. And before you ask, let me tell you, Sunny Deol was simply great. He was completely focussed on what he wanted to say in Dillagi and what he wanted from the performers. He’s made the film exactly the way he had visualised it. He didn’t compromise even for a second. He put in tremendous effort.

After seeing Shool did you wish that you had done Raveena Tandon’s role?
No I’ve never felt that way about anyone’s roles. I have appreciated other actress’s roles and performances.

But I’ve never felt I should have done it instead. It’s like if I go to a party and see a great-looking dress, I appreciate it on the person wearing it. I don’t wish, Mere paas bhi yeh dress hoti to main kitni achchi lagti. I’ve never been an acquisitive person.

So you’re happy with what you’ve got in life?
Ah, I feel things could be better. But I’ve never felt like grabbing anyone’s roles.

Which are the directors you’d like to work with?
All the ones who’ll be reading this interview. Seriously, I don’t want to leave anyone out.

When do I do an undiplomatic interview with you?
Oh, God, you’ve caught me at the wrong time for that. After a couple of flops, I can’t afford to do an undiplomatic interview right now (laughs).

Subhash K Jha