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Once bitten twice blessed

The sparkling smile , now has an added glow, thanks to Renuka Shahane’s super stardom on television. And the benign gaze of Cupid.

When I met Renuka recently I immediately noticed the radiant glow on her face. Renuka looked like a woman in love, and she was wasn’t making an effort to hide it. She also looked like a young woman who has achieved what she set out to in life without having to bend backwards (or forward) to please anyone. Self-made and content with her cosy stardom on television, Renuka’s role as the deserted wife in Kora Kagaz and the working class para-activist in Tejaswini have fetched her widespread appreciation.

The much-talked about relationship with actor Ashutosh Rana has made Renuka more news-worthy than she would perhaps like to be. Friendly but not overly so, private but not distant, honest but unwilling to make an issue out of her sincerity, Renuka is the oddity in the showbiz known as the thinking actress. I quizzed her about her roles and her rules of living, and of course about the man in her life.

I wonder why I thought of you after I saw Ashutosh Rana in Sangharsh.
You did? (laughs delightedly). You’d better think of me when you see him. I liked Ashutosh’s performance a lot. But I thought the film was disappointing. It was well intended but not executed that well. But I’m so proud of his performance. He has played a complete character like he had done in Dushman though there’s nothing of Dushman in his performance in Sangharsh. He needed to follow up the earlier performance with something equally powerful, and that he has achieved.

People are complaining that he hasn’t been given enough footage.
(Laughs) How wonderful! He’ll be thrilled to hear this. I felt he brought so much conviction into his evil character that we actually end up sympathising with him.

Now, that’s a woman in love talking. Don’t you pine to play someone as wicked as Ashutosh Rana in Sangharsh?
Oh, I’d love to. I’d give my right hand to play a wicked character. But a well-developed and well-defined wicked character. Otherwise sorry, I’m not interested in being evil just for the heck of it. That wouldn’t be too nice an example to set for viewers. If I play an evil character I’ll see to it that I’m suitably punished at the end.

I’m sure society will be grateful. But tell me, haven’t you played goody- goody characters for too long?
You’re telling me! I’m sick and tired of crying and laughing all the time. But what to do? Forget black characters there aren’t even shades of grey in what I’m doing. But at least in Tejaswini I get to talk back. That’s a marked improvement on my general main chup rahungi roles.

But you’ve been talking back in Kora Kagaz also!
Yes, but after so many episodes. I’ve to admit, it came on very suddenly. We had to jump into the shooting to beat the sudden deadline.

And the sloppiness shows. Do you enjoy playing another author-backed role or is it too much responsibility to be constantly playing such roles?
In Tejaswini Anang Desai and Sudhir Pandey also have important roles. Compared to Kora Kagaz I’ve less responsibility to shoulder in Tejaswini. I enjoy playing the character in Tejaswini because she’s quite like me. When I feel like giving anyone a piece of my mind I go right ahead and do it. Playing the character in Tejaswini comes more effortlessly than the character in Kora Kagaz.

How do you feel about your character in Kora Kagaz at this point of time?
There’s a romantic involvement brewing in the plot, which is quite a welcome change. Viewers will actually get to see me smiling. I haven’t done that in Kora Kagaz for so long. The character is finally at peace with herself. And I quite like that. In real life I’m a positive and sunny person.

When do you finally turn director?
Not right away. But I’m working on a script which I’ll direct and produce myself. I might also direct a tele-film for Ashaji (Parekh) for the Star Bestsellers slot. I want to start my own production house by the end of the year.

And when will you set up home with Ashutosh Rana?
That’s a major responsibility. Unlike my production-direction I can’t abandon the marriage halfway just because I can’t cope with it.

It’s a refreshing change to hear of a showbiz person so openly and happily admitting to her relationship instead of hiding behind the standard ‘We’re just good friends’, cliche.
Good friends? No, we’re much more than that (laughs).

Did you recently shift out of your parents’ home into your own pad to give space to your relationship?
Yes, I must admit that was the catalyst for me to move out of my cosy and convenient home with my parents. There, everything was being done for me by my parents. Life was much easier. But I always wanted to be physically independent to find out if I can live without my family. And it worked! It’s a wonderful feeling to live alone. Things sometimes get tough because there’s a lot of practical work to be done around the house. But I don’t mind. It comes with the territory.

But don’t you miss being a part of your family?
Of course I do. But when I go visiting I’m treated like a real maharani. It makes me feel wonderful. I had bought the new flat with the express purpose of staying alone. I felt I was too protected by my family. I wanted to get out of the familial cocoon and check out if I was really as self-dependent as I thought myself to be.

How did you meet Ashutosh?
It was my colleague Rajeshwari who introduced us when we had both gone to see a preview of the film Jayate. Ashu was also there. At that point of time I thought Ashu and I were going to work together in Ravi Rai’s Sparsh, which never happened. We gradually got to know each other on the telephone. As we talked we hit it off extremely well. We were comfortable discussing several topics. We eventually met as close friends at the end of December. It so often happens that one can be comfortable with someone over the phone but not in person. Fortunately that didn’t happen with us. I feel blessed (laughs).

Why isn’t Ashutosh Rana admitting to the relationship as willingly as you?
To tell you honestly, I completely understand his attitude. He just doesn’t like to talk about his feelings openly. On the other hand I’ve always been very open about my feelings, though only to a point. But I think he’s changing (laughs).

Would you like to marry him?
Actually, I don’t believe in the institution of marriage. Maybe it’s a case of once bitten twice shy. I don’t want to get into a marriage again. Ashu and I aren’t considering marriage at all. We’ve discussed it and we see no need for it. We’re very happy with the way the relationship is going. I feel we’re handling our relationship maturely. If in future we feel the need to marry we’ll see, I feel we can be bonded without marriage. But we aren’t living together.

Has your first marriage embittered you against the institution of marriage?
Not at all. If it had, I wouldn’t have ventured into another relationship. I think it taught me a lot of things about myself. I guess my personality has developed over the years through the experiences that I had in marriage.

Were you married before you came into the acting profession?
Yes, in fact I came into the acting profession because of my broken marriage. I needed to support myself financially. I didn’t want to depend on my parents.

Did you send your ex-husband a bouquet for putting you on the right track?
(Laughs) Incidentally it was a love marriage and not an arranged marriage. So I take all the credit and discredit for it.

Speaking of broken relationships, where did all the love between you and director Ravi Rai vanish to?
Well, I was supposed to do Sparsh for him. It was originally supposed to be a class act, like Ravi’s Sailaab with the minutest details worked out from beforehand. I ventured into Sparsh expecting a tight 26-episode narration. Suddenly after three days of shooting I don’t know what happened. Ravi came up to me and said he wanted to do 104 episodes. He asked me whether I still wanted to do it. I opted out. For a person who said he had written the role with me in mind his behaviour was incongruous. It was almost as though he no longer wanted me to do Sparsh. It was very strange. His behaviour hurt me.

From what you’ve said it seems he had decided to take someone else for the role.
Maybe. But I haven’t spoken to him after that incident. I don’t want to speak to him. I don’t want anything to do with him. And I don’t regret it one bit. But when I opted out I didn’t think I had done anything wrong - not for a second. I felt he was leaving me with no other option. I can’t work without self-respect. I’m not interested in grovelling before directors to give me roles.

I don’t think you need to. Which are the roles that you’ve accepted?
Right now I’m not taking any new work. I might just give up acting. I want to go into direction in a big way. With all these acting assignments I don’t have enough time to write my scripts. I’d like to cut down on my work and concentrate on filmmaking.

So you wouldn’t direct yourself?
Maybe when I’m confident of my skills as a director. But not now. I’m not getting into direction to promote myself as an actress. Besides, there are so many actresses I’d like to direct. Like Rajeshwari, Pallavi Joshi, Surekha Sikri, Uttara Baokar, Divya Seth.

Even though she stole your role in Sparsh?
She did no such thing. Mrinal Kulkarni did (laughs).

They brought you back on Antakshari recently?
yes but only for the special episodes.

Are you happy with your life and career?
And how! What I’d like is a bit of time to spend with my son. I’d love to direct Ashu. I think he’s a such an ‘alive’ actor.

After Tanuja Chandra, Ashutosh will have another woman director on his head.
Besides him, not on his head (laughs). I’d like to direct him in an intense and complex role. I’m working on something for him.

Subhash K Jha