We know this much: it’s a blast from the past, specifically 2000. Sources close to the investigators tell your channel and every other channel as well, that what began as an attempt to bring a family together and keep it together, has ended with its being torn asunder after countless fissiparous incidents involving death, rape, swindles, sibling rivalries, broken hearts, bigamy, monogamy, insanity and lifelong enmities — and the final chop.
You can’t, protested saas and bahu. Yes we can, replied Star Plus. Yes they can, agreed Mumbai High Court, allowing the channel to kill off Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi.
The serial had signed its own death warrant by perpetrating too many crimes against the public, roared Sansani’s crime anchor Trivedi. India TV’s ACP Arjun said while nobody can say anything, there was clearly a conspiracy to rid television of the K serials since Kyunki’s elimination comes after the removal of Kasauti Zindagi Kay and Kahani Ghar Ghar Kii. This is minority bashing, he added, everyone is targeting the alphabet K. Which is why Balaji Telefilms has named their latest serial Tujh Sang Preet Lagai Sajna (Star Plus).
Barkha Dutt, between being blown away with the leaves in New York’s Central Park and failing to find a newspaper to hold on to Wednesday after Landslide Obama, in an ‘exclusive’ with morning jaybirds, found the public was tired of Bush, sorry, the Viranis’ eight year rule. On CNN-IBN, psephelogist Yogendra Yadav said that if you counted the number of female viewers in the small towns, aggregated them to the older viewers in ABCD towns, added those to the percentage of all viewers on Pali Hill in Mumbai, you’d find that a strong coalition toppled Kyunki. Later, on Face the Nation, Sagarika Ghose argued that Kyunki needed a Mayawati and India an Obama. Times Now’s Arnab Goswami didn’t care about Kyunki — he was (un)clearly thousand of miles away: Obama, he said, is probably becoming most certainly the next US President.
Last Monday, Neo Sports anchor ‘RK’ dismissed the controversy like India had Australia: if Ponting can retire Down Under and Ganguly retire gracefully, what’s with Kyunki retiring hurt?
Kyunki’s cast pleaded with the media to be more responsible in its reporting. Saas-bahu, Savita and Tulsi, claimed on Aaj Tak’s Special, that Kyunki, like McCain, came up against formidable foes: Big Boss, Anandi, the child bride, Krishna the child god, and Indian Idols including Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan now competing with them on TV. The death of Kyunki on Star Plus did not go unnoticed in the international media. CNN’s Magic Wall, used throughout the presidential campaign, at a touch of the screen revealed Kyunki from every angle — given the number of camera positions over the last eight years. A hologram teleported ‘Tulsi’ across the world into the CNN election headquarters. She promised her American fans that although she was no longer India’s favourite bahu, she could be theirs as she’d soon be back in a new role. Maybe she could replace Oprah Winfrey (remember she was a talk show host)? Madam O, alongwith thousands at Grant Park awaiting Obama, was asked whether she might like to be an ambassador. She didn’t say no.
If Kyunki has taught us anything in these eight vivid, memorable, tiresome years, it is there is always life after death. So, reportedly, it’s to be reborn on another channel...
