HUM TUM EK KAMRE MEIN BANDH HO
The other morning Anil Kapoor woke up to find himself locked in his bedroom...with his wife. No, it didn’t turn into a romantic rendezvous because when Sunita learnt that there was no way they could leave the room till the locksmith arrived, she turned to her irate pati, smiled sweetly and said, "Goodnight, I’m going back to sleep," and proceeded to do just that much to Anil’s amazed annoyance. Unable to dash off to the shoot he was supposed to report for, Anil fumed, fretted and finally dialed a friend to complain."Don’t worry," the friend soothed him. "Just imagine what would have happened if you found himself in a bandh kamra with another woman and the chabi missing. "Lock the thought away," he shuddered.

MAMA’S BOY
Abhishek Bachchan was an unhappy boy last week because mama Jaya was not going to be around on Mother’s Day. Not any more.

There was a sudden break in his schedule and mama’s boy immediately caught the next flight to London to spend May 13 with mama and papa. Now he’s back home, smiling happily. Mum’s the word for this Bachchan too.

WAITING FOR BACHCHAN
Talking about the Bachchans, as always there was a crowd opposite Amitabh’s old home that’s now his office, Pratiksha last Sunday. Dozens of star-gazers lined the roads on either side and many spilled out onto the main thoroughfare as they waited patiently for a darshan of the BIG B. Whenever Amitabh is in town he makes it a point to step out on the balcony between 7-7.30 p.m. every evening to wave out to his many fans.

That Sunday too Bachchan’s band of loyalists were there for a dekko little knowing that their idol was away in Buckingham city. Wish Mr Bachchan would instruct his staff to inform these adoring admirers when he’s away and won’t be entertaining them. This would not only save many a heart-breaking wait in the sweltering summer heat but also give the Juhu police a respite from the daily traffic jams.

GETTING FIZZICAL OVER FARDEEN
Ever since Fardeen’s arrest and subsequent bail a number of cute and corny cocaine jokes have been doing the rounds. One of them is that Pepsi would like to get fizzical with the Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya heart-throb. If they haven’t approached him yet to model their product it’s because he’s hooked on coke! A smart alec’s rejoinder to this wisecrack was that Pepsi should grab him anyway. Then they can use the slogan, "Have a Pepsi, Coke is dangerous!"

PORTRAIT OF A WRITER
A couple of weeks ago, we told you about the Indo-Holland co-production, Driving Miss Palmen that has turned out to be an innovative experiment in filmmaking, adroitly weaving real life into reel life. What we didn’t tell you was that the script of the film was written by the real Miss Palmen’s driver. He took up the job only because he thought that being in the company of a famous writer would help him realise his dreams of becoming a celebrated novelist. When his lady scoffed at his aspiration it only made him more determined to write a book to "show her". The book ended up making Miss Palmen the focus but it also delved into the dark lives of some of the celebrities who passed though the wanna-be writer’s life when he was driving Miss Palmen around.

The result was an interesting and insightful look into the lives of some of Holland’s select few that immediately captured the attention of Shashi Rajan who’s turned it into a delightful film with Indian actors playing these Dutch personalities. The script and the film however, doesn’t paint a very flattering picture of Miss Palmen showing her as an alcoholic and a flitting lover who fails as a writer too, unable to keep up with deadlines and torn apart by the critics.

Yet, when the film was screened for her the real Miss Palmen was delighted. "It’s marvellous!" she exulted. "And if this is the way my driver sees me I have to face it!" How very sporting!

CHARMING AND CHOOSY
Incidentally, the role of Miss Palmen in the film is played by Lillette Dubey, a charming actress who has a finger in many pies -- she’s into serials, films, theatre and also has her own production company -- without spreading herself too thin. Unlike Saeed Jaffrey who blotched up his career after Shatranj Ke Khiladi by selling himself to one and all, Lillette is being very selective. And the result is an applauded act in Mira Nair’s Monsoon Wedding, a delightful cameo in Bawander and the challenging Driving Miss Palmen. Great going Lillette.

YESTERDAY ONCE MORE
Whether he’s writing or speaking Javed Akhtar has a way with words and he had the gathering at Mumbai’s Hotel Regent during the launch of his new teleshow, Rahein Na Rahein Hum enthralled on the evening of May 11. He talked about how classics like Mughal-e-Azam, Pyaasa, Sujata and Bandini that brought back a crowd of memories of the years gone by. You remembered places and people with whom you’d seen these unforgettable films.

You recalled love affairs, in reel life and real. You relived film that were great muses with their strong social statements and Indianness. "Today’s films in comparison are so synthetic. There are a lot of Indian faces but the setting’s London and the sentiments American," he rued. Javed’s straight-from-the-heart talk had his audience enchanted. And those like Jeetendra and Ramesh Sippy who turned up late were disappointed to find that the function had begun on the dot at 9 p.m. and Javed’s speech and the special screening was over by 9.20.

Later because of insistent public demand there was a repeat run and then, before his many friends and fans demanded another encore Javed pulled the disappearing act. He was caught on his cell phone and cajoled to come back to the party because he was one of the hosts. But Javed being Javed had an excuse ready. "My wife is leaving for Agra tomorrow. I have to be home early," he informed. And no one had the heart to argue with a good pati.