My dad had warned me about it. And I thought I was prepared. But just a few months of stardom and I have come to realise that everything comes along with tax. I’m not complaining, but I’m feeling extremely tired. Everyone expects me to give them special attention and quality time. Some of them because they’ve known me when I was a nobody. Some, because they are known to my parents.
A number of producers want me to do their films and even though they know it is not physically possible and that I just don’t have dates, they don’t understand.
I wake up every morning and find my living room packed with kids. I love kids and like being with them, but shaking hands and signing autographs takes a lot of time. I step outside the home and there is another big crowd waiting outside. They are all well-meaning people, but it does add to the pressure because if preoccupied, you tend to ignore somebody and that’s bound to hurt their sentiments.
On the sets more people are waiting. Colleagues, friends and relatives of people involved with the film, gate crash into my sets. The minute they realise that the shot is over they assault me with requests. It is such an encroachment! I have stopped allowing journalists to visit me on the sets because I don’t want to be distracted with interviews. I long to have some moments free when I can patiently run through my lines and discuss my costume or scene with my producer.
After pack-up there is so much to cram into a day. After endless meetings there is hardly any time to spend with either my parents or Suzanne. It’s getting more and more difficult over the months. Take for instance the wedding. The media feels that we are being secretive, the truth is we don’t know when it’ll be. My parents cannot go ahead with the preparations until I confirm a date. I cannot confirm a date until the producer gives me the green signal. It’s a Catch-22 situation. I’m leaving it on destiny. It will happen as quickly and as elaborately as it has to. Like they say, these things just happen. The spirit of celebration is there though. We are planning it, talking about it.
When I was a struggling assistant, I thought all my problems would be over once I got a break. When my dad launched me, I realised I had to doubly prove myself for if I failed, I’d be letting him down. So I was working out, brushing up my dialogue delivery, taking acting and dancing lessons. Then came the tension of the release. The film was accepted. I was accepted. But again I had to prove that I wasn’t a one-film-wonder and I think Fiza and Mission Kashmir to some extent cleared the doubts. In fact, I think the expectations have increased after Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hain. I am proud that the film has completed 50 weeks, but the challenge, I know, isn’t over.

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